To avoid being “that guy”, it’s important to compliment your man and let him know how beautiful he is. Avoid using phrases that feminize, dehumanize or humiliate him. Hot talk can be fun and your goal should be to turn your man on – but don’t ruin the moment by getting carried away. One of the myths associated with being a good gay top is that you have to be the one in control. And while it is true most tops are wired to do what they do, this doesn’t mean they need to be controlling. In fact, this approach can very much be a turn-off.Ī better method is to share power and control and let your bottom guide you towards what he wants. Follow his lead in form and position and mindfully tune into where you sense he is going. Believe it or not, bottoms can be aggressive too.
If you are a top that tends to blow too quickly or if this is the case for your bottom, it’s time to start focusing on mindful breathing approaches.
